Jewish taxi driver..

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.
The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? – Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasn’t staring at you like you tink; det vould not be proper vair I come from.”

The drunk woman giggled and responded, “Well,if you’re not staring at my boobs or ass, sweetie, what are you doing then?”

He paused a moment, then told her…”Vell, M’am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself,’Vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?

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Autocorrect

🤔 🙄 😳 😂 🤣

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Math For Dummies 😁

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Time travel

Nope, nope.. 🙄😲

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Shop Signage

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Laugh!

Signs that tell a story…

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Funny, but True…the truth be told about Israeli quirkiness

By: Hungarian – Israeli humorist, Efraim Kishon

Israel is the only country in the world, where patients visiting physicians end up giving the doctor advice.

Israel is the only country in the world, where no one has a foreign accent because everyone has a foreign accent.

Israel is the only country in the world, where the leading writers in the country take buses.

Israel is the only country in the world, where people cuss using dirty words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.

Israel is the only country in the world, where the graffiti is in Hebrew.

Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book Week, where almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.

Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.

Israel is the only country in the world, where no one cares what rules say when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.

Israel is the only country in the world, where reservists are commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.

Israel is the only country in the world, where "small talk" consists of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.

Israel is the only country in the world, where ultra-Orthodox Jews beat up the police and not the other way around.

Israel is the only country in the world. where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they leave with their loot.

Israel is one of the few countries in the world that truly likes and admires the United States .

Israel is the only country in the world, where everyone on a flight gets to know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they also get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.

Israel is the only country in the world where people call an attaché case a "James Bond" and the "@" sign is called a "strudel.”

Israel is the only country in the world, where the coffee is already so good Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local market.

Israel is a country surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the people’s headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.

Israel is the only country in the world, where people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish!

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Engineer’s Thoughts

Engineer’s thoughts…

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What’s with those guys? We’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don’t think I’ve ever seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That’s so sad. I’ll say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I’ll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here’s anything she can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can’t they play at night?"

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Pearls of wisdom — seen many before, all cute

NEW PEARLS OF WISDOM 😀

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Happiness

Image may contain: text that says 'WOMEN WORKING Happiness is a choice, nota a resutt. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be Happy. No person, place or thing will make you happy. Happiness will not come to you, it can only come from you.'

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