Now the “Correct Laws” :)

From my friend Valerie in response to “Here are the real laws of nature:” 🙂

– Dave

Being correct in 2013

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longerbe referred to as ‘HILLBILLIES.’
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore…

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a
‘BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘

2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is
‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..’

3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a
‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’

4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a
‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes
‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a
‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a
‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is
‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’

3.. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He
‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in
‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’

5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s
‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE..’

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