Late one evening, while the campaign motorcade proceeded down a lonely rural road in west Texas, a very aged cow that had wandered away from its farm pasture suddenly stepped onto the road directly in the path of the oncoming vehicles.
The Secret Service limo driver tried to avoid the aging bovine but just couldn’t stop the car in time.
Unfortunately, the old cow was struck and killed.
From the back seat of the limo, Hillary
Clinton demanded that her driver go up to the nearby farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
She insisted, however, that the agent should resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, and she added, "You killed it, so if they demand money, it will come out of your own pocket!"
Meanwhile, Hillary stayed in the car making phone calls on her
unsecured cell phone. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray.
He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you?" asked Hillary.
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.
"I had just stepped inside the door and said ‘I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow.’ "
"The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it."
The Old Cow