Pipe Line Tour

The Prime Minister took an aerial tour of the proposed pipeline route through a BC Indian Reserve earlier this week.

When he returned he said that all went reasonably well.

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Tough Life

​​
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."​​

"What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now."
The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.

My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."
"You’re kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird shit."

"It was my first day with the hook."

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Health questions and answers

The Definitive Answer To 20 Of Your Biggest Health Questions

Does olive oil prevent heart disease?

Short answer: Yes
The health benefits of olive oil come from the presence of polyphenols, antioxidants
That reduce the risk of heart diseases and cancers.
But to get these healthy compounds, consumers should buy good-quality, fresh "extra-virgin" olive oil, which has the highest polyphenol content. Most commercially available olive oils have low levels of polyphenols associated with poor harvesting methods, improper storage, and heavy processing.

Do cough syrups work?

Short answer: No
In 2006, the nation’s chest physicians agreed that the majority of over-the-counter cough medicines don’t actually work.
These colorful syrups typically contain doses of codeine and dextromethorphan that are too small to be effective.
Only cough suppressants that contain older antihistamines seem to relieve coughs.
That includes brompheniramine, an active ingredient in Dimetapp.

Do sugary soft drinks lead to diabetes?

Short answer: Yes
The majority of health research is stacked against sugar-sweetened soda. A large 2004 studying the Journal of the American Medical Association found that women who drank one or more sugary drinks per day increased their risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 83% compared to those who consumed less than one of these beverages per month.

Do I need sunscreen with more than 30 SPF?

Short answer: No
Sunscreens with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 30 block about 97% of ultraviolet rays,
While sunscreens with an SPF of higher than 30 block 97%-98%.
It’s more important that you choose "broad-spectrum" sunscreen, meaning it protects against both UVB and UVA rays.
Sunbathers also need to apply a generous amount of sunscreen in order to get the full benefit of the SPF.

Is the MSG in Chinese likely to give you a headache?

Short answer: No
A review of 40 years of clinical trials, published in the journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners in 2006,
Found that all previous research "failed to identify a consistent relationship between the consumption of MSG
And the constellation of symptoms that comprise the syndrome," including headaches and asthma attacks.
The misconception spawned from several poorly-done small studies in the 1960s that seemed to connect MSG with a variety of maladies that people experienced after eating at Chinese restaurants.
Learn more about the MSG myth here »

Do nuts make you fat?

Short answer: No
As much as 75% of a nut is fat. But eating fat doesn’t necessarily make you fat.
The bigger factor leading to weight gain is portion-size.
Luckily, nuts are loaded with healthy fats that keep you full. They’re also a good source of protein and fiber.
One study even found that whole almonds have 20% less calories than previously thought because
A lot of the fat is excreted from the body.

Is walking as effective as running?

Short answer: Yes
Studies have shown that how long you exercise — and thus how many calories you burn — is more important
Than how hard you exercise. Running is a more efficient form of exercise, but not necessarily better for you.
A six-year study published in the journal Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology in April found that walking at a moderate pace and running produced similar health benefits, so long as the same amount of energy was expended.

Is drinking fruit juice as good for you as eating fruit?

Short answer: No
Calorie for calorie, whole fruit provides more nutritional benefits than drinking the pure juice of that fruit.
That’s because when you liquefy fruit, stripping away the peel and dumping the pulp, many ingredients like
Fiber, calcium, vitamin C, and other antioxidants are lost.
For comparison, a five-ounce glass of orange juice that contains 69 calories has .3 grams of dietary fiber and 16 milligrams of calcium, whereas an orange with the same number of calories packs 3.1 grams of fiber and 60 milligrams of calcium.

Are all wheat breads better for you than white bread?

Short answer: No
Not all wheat breads are created equal. Wheat breads that contain all parts of the grain kernel,
Including the nutrient-rich germ and fiber-dense bran, must be labeled "whole grain" or "whole wheat."
Some wheat breads are just white bread with a little bit of caramel coloring to make the bread appear healthier,
According to Reader’s Digest.

Can a hot tub make me sick?

Short answer: Yes
Hot tubs — especially ones in spas, hotels, and gyms — are perfect breeding grounds for germs.
The water is not hot enough to kill bacteria, but is just the right temperature to make microbes grow even faster.
Even though hot tubs are treated with chlorine, the heat causes the disinfectant to break down faster
than it would in regular pools.
The most common hot tub infection is pseudomonas folliculitis, which causes red, itchy bumps.
A more dangerous side-effect of soaking in a dirty Jacuzzi is a form of pneumonia known as Legionnaire’s disease.
This is what reportedly sickened more than 100 people at the Playboy Mansion back in 2011.

Does coffee cause cancer?

Short answer: No
Coffee got a bad rap in the 1980s when a study linked drinking coffee to pancreatic cancer.
The preliminary report was later debunked.
More recently, health studies have swung in favor of the caffeinated beverage.
Coffee has been linked to a lower risk of type 2 diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, liver cancer, and even suicide.

Do eggs raise cholesterol levels?

Short answer: No
Although egg yolks are a major source of cholesterol — a waxy substance that resembles fat — researchers have learned that saturated fat has more of an impact on cholesterol in your blood than eating foods that contain cholesterol.
"Healthy individuals with normal blood cholesterol levels should now feel free to enjoy foods like eggs in their diet every day," the lead researcher from a 25-year University of Arizona study on cholesterol concluded.

Can you drink too much water?

Short answer: Yes
It is very rare for someone to die from drinking too much water, but it can happen.
Over hydrating is most common among elite athletes. Drinking an excess of water, called water intoxication, dilutes the concentration of sodium in the blood leading to a condition known as hyponatremia.
The symptoms of hyponatremia can range from nausea and confusion to seizures and even death in severe cases.
To avoid this, drink fluids with electrolytes during extreme exercise events.

Can yogurt ease digestive problems?

Short answer: Yes
Our digestive tract is filled with microorganisms — some good and some bad. Yogurt contains beneficial bacteria, generically called Probiotic, that helps maintain a healthy balance.
Probiotics can relieve several gastrointestinal problems, including constipation and diarrhea.
Certain brands of yogurts, like Activa by Dannon, are marketed exclusively to treat tummy issues.

Do whitening toothpastes whiten teeth more than regular toothpastes?

Short answer: No
Whitening toothpastes usually contain peroxides and other strong abrasives that might make
your teeth appear whiter by removing stains. Unlike at-home whitening strips and gels that contain bleach,
these toothpastes do not actually change the color of your teeth.

Is it safe to microwave food in plastic containers?

Short answer: Yes
But the plastic container should display the words "microwave safe." This means that the Food and Drug Administration has tested the container to make sure no chemicals used to make the plastic leech into foods during micro waving.
If chemicals do seep out into food, the amounts are tiny and not dangerous to our health.
As a general guideline, plastic grocery bags as well as most plastic tubs that hold margarine, yogurt, cream cheese,
and condiments are not microwave safe.

Can watching TV ruin your eyesight?

Short answer: No
Watching TV will not destroy your rods and cones as the outdated myth suggests. Before the 1950s,
TVs emitted radiation that could increase an individual’s risk of eye problems after excessive TV viewing.
Modern TVs have special shielding that blocks these harmful emissions.

Is red wine better for you than white wine?

Short answer: Yes
Red wine contains much more resveratrol than white wine, an antioxidant found in the skin of grapes
that has been shown to fight off diseases associated with aging.

Is bottled water better for you than tap water?

Short answer: No
Bottled water is no safer or purer than tap water, although it is substantially more expensive.
A recent study by Glasgow University in the U.K. found that bottled water is actually
more likely to be contaminated than water from your faucet because it is less well-regulated.
Bottled water and tap water typically come from the same sources — natural springs, lakes, and aquifers.
While public water supplies are tested for contaminants every day, makers of bottled water are only required
to test for specific contaminants every week, month, or year.

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How the Stock Market Really works

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Wonderful definitions

wonderful definitions

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Classics: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

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The Goodnight kiss

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little amorous. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, “Honey, would you have sex with me?” Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”
“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” he asks, grinning at her.
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”             
“Oh come on! There’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”
“No way. It’s just too risky!”
“Oh please,please. I love you so much!”
“No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!”
“Oh yes you can. Please?”
“No, no. I just can’t!”
“I’m begging you . . . “
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s older sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice, she says: “Dad says to go ahead and have sex with him, or I can do it, or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it . . . but for God’s sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom!”
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Irish Hat Trick

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him.
He had not been to church in 10 years.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “

Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday.. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat.
What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I left me hat…"

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The Old Cow

Late one evening, while the campaign motorcade proceeded down a lonely rural road in west Texas, a very aged cow that had wandered away from its farm pasture suddenly stepped onto the road directly in the path of the oncoming vehicles.

The Secret Service limo driver tried to avoid the aging bovine but just couldn’t stop the car in time.

Unfortunately, the old cow was struck and killed.

From the back seat of the limo, Hillary​ ​
Clinton demanded that her driver go up to the nearby farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.

She insisted, however, that the agent should resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, and she added, "You killed it, so if they demand money, it will come out of your own pocket!"

Meanwhile, Hillary stayed in the car making phone calls on her
unsecured cell phone. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray.

He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you?" asked Hillary.

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.

"I had just stepped inside the door and said ‘I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow.’ "

"The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it."

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Only a farm kid would see it this way!

When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.
A farmer drove to a neighbour’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment, then says, "You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

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What’s in a name?

Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street?

(pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo)

Well, Picabo is not just an athlete. She is now a nurse, currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone

and say, Picabo, I.C.U.

A good clean joke is hard to find these days – pass it on!

(Admit it … You’re smiling)

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